Note from the author:
Hi everybody! I’ve been very busy lately, so please excuse a lack of content on my part, and also not updating the archives section. If you want to give me free money so I can have enough money to go to college, I just need about $35,000 for this upcoming year. SO YEAH FEEL FREE TO help me out, just message me and we can figure out how exactly you want to give me monies. Also, let’s be honest, Flavius and the Lion is an abomination 🙂 This idea quite literally has become what a horror movie for lawn gnomes would look like. So enjoy the horror movie for lawn gnomes 🙂
P.S.- Melissa is so professional- I mean have you experienced her professionalism yet? It’s so professional.
P.S.S.- I’m a writer. 5:12 AM on Friday counts as Thursday if I never went to sleep 🙂
P.S.S.S.- My fellow scribe-ists- if you find grammar errors please feel free to fix them. LOVE- Aramis
I’m gonna go to sleep now.
In between the longest beard’s fits of moans over his melted face, and Julius’ screeches from the counter as the lion doubtlessly tore him apart, the door of the house burst open and the couple who lived in the house came lumbering inside. Flavius swung his hand over the longest beard’s mouth, whose now muffled wail grew in intensity, and dove the longest beard and himself under the sofa in the living room. The tears streaming down the longest beard’s face ran onto Flavius’ hand, and the feet of the two gargantuans thundered into the living room. The man slammed down onto the seat of the couch above Flavius and the longest beard, and the woman stood facing the man. Julius’ screeches had stopped, and the man and woman were silent for a moment. The only sound was the longest beard’s pained breathing.
“We’ve been married for five years. We’ve known each other for ten.”
The lion jumped from the counter, and slunk casually toward the living room, so Flavius searched desperately for a way to safety, but found nothing- the white door was on the other side of the room, past the two gargantuans and the lion. At most he could climb into the inside of the couch, but if the lion found its way under the couch, it would just have to look up for Flavius and the longest beard to die a terrible death. The man rapidly jumped off the couch and began screaming-
“IT’S RIGHT THERE, I KNEW IT WAS THERE- GET IT AWAY FROM ME-”
“HEY- HEY- MAXWELL! RELAX- LOOK-”
Flavius and the lion’s eyes met, and the lion froze for a moment, and then began edging toward Flavius and the longest beard, before the woman knelt and picked it up.
“Look- see- it’s okay- it’s harmless- it’s just a kitty-”
As soon as the lion disappeared upward, out of sight, Flavius took hold of the longest beard’s hand and rushed over to hide behind the leg of the couch. He stuck his head out for a few seconds, spotting the woman standing with the lion in her hands, stroking it, with the man standing opposite of her. Flavius hid behind the couch once more and took a deep breath, before sprinting out from under the couch, with the longest beard in hand, and toward the white door. The woman screamed and threw the lion into the air, and the man fearfully jumped away from the lion as it flew across the air. As the woman ran into the kitchen, and the man crawled to the corner of the room, the two little bearded men continued to run, as fast as their legs would take them. After a few seconds that seemed to last a lifetime, the white door stood over them. Flavius pushed the longest beard through the door, and began to climb in, but something jerked him backwards, away from the door. He crashed onto the floor, face up, and found the lion standing directly over him, with string from Flavius’ spool backpack in its claws. Its eyes were dark windows into a vast nothingness, and Flavius could see fabric from Julius’ clothing hanging from its mouth. The lion put its claws in the air and simultaneously swung them down toward Flavius, while snapping his fangs onto him. Before he could be snagged by the lion, however, Flavius rolled out of the way, sliding out of his backpack, and jumping to his feet. The lion swung his claws again, and caught Flavius’ shirt. It pulled him into the air, and would have bitten his head clean off, if Flavius’ shirt hadn’t ripped and sent him down to floor once more. The woman came crashing into the living room once more, wielding a broom and squealing, before swinging her broom downward toward Flavius- the lion flew backward, and Flavius once again narrowly avoided death by jumping out of the way. He quickly stood once more and again sprinted toward the white door. He climbed onto the brim of the door, before the broom slammed onto his backside and threw Flavius onto the china plate, and next to the longest beard. Flavius untied the rope from the plate, but it slipped through his hands, and the plate began to fly downward, destined to shatter at the bottom of the tunnel. Seeing no way of stopping the plate, as the rope steadying it had flown overhead as it began to fall, Flavius took hold of the longest beard’s hand, and reached for the wall of the tunnel with his other hand- catching the wall. They stopped falling abruptly and Flavius yelled out, as his hand had suddenly begun to carry twice his weight. He struggled to pull himself and the longest beard upward, and maintain his grip on the longest beard, but both of his grips were slipping, until suddenly the longest beard slipped and fell, and crashed down next to the shattered china. Flavius began to sob as he grasped the wall with both his hands now, and climbed upward into a small platform on the side of the wall.
He looked upward and at the top of the tunnel he saw the lion clawing across the surface through the white door, calling out desperately for more blood, and Flavius knew the deaths of both of his friends were its fault. Flavius looked downward once more and saw the longest beard sprawled on the floor, and quickly looked away. He spent an hour there. Once the lion left, he began to climb back up the tunnel.
To be continued…
Hello again! I’d like to restate that this story is an abomination, feel free to agree in the comments below.