“SOME SAY THE WORLD WILL END IN FIRE, SOME SAY ICE” – Robert Frost
A thick rage dripped off her like water. As if she was soaked in the blood of those who had tested her. But she wasn’t…yet. It didn’t take much to piss Katya off. To send her marching out of that retched house in a heat of flames. To make her slam the door with the intention of making the whole place collapse. No, it wasn’t just the words that flowed like poison out of a man whom she had dared to care for. It was the confusion, the uncertainty that had her dizzy with anxiety. Why had she even come back to that small and miserable town? She should’ve stayed home, where the insomnia that was New York City had kept her distracted. Why did she still give a damn about him, even now, after he practically spat in her face?
What was she here for, really?
Family was never kind to her, she knew this. He was blood and he had reached out and—perhaps the idea of some sort of bond beyond the superficial friendships she had formed was what compelled her. She just needed to talk to him. It had been so long since they had a genuine conversation. Beyond the occasional greeting text or birthday call or holiday wishes. Katya needed some sort of true connection and comfort in the words of someone who might understand. But he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t. Who would? Who would understand such an immoral, sadistic woman wrapped up in her life of chaotic hedonism? A narcissist of a woman, dressed in all her rage and pain and glory? No one…not even her own brother. That sort of isolation could really tear a person apart. The moment she realized this is the same moment Katya had a revelation, of sorts. She just wanted people to understand. She wanted them to feel all the things that she felt. The rage, the loneliness, the malice. Feel her need for vengeance with no regrets whatsoever. She wanted them to know what she knew.
She wanted them to suffer like she suffered.
Her footsteps echoed in the empty street, sharp heels clicking in the darkness. The hint of a smile slightly devilish in nature graced her face. Even though she just wanted to scream so loud it would shatter the windows. It would be an awful sight, to watch as Katya unraveled. Listening to her yell at the heavens and laugh at the hell beneath her feet. Everything that has ever hurt her, every word that has ever worn her down, every ounce of anger she had locked away in that Pandora box deep in the crevices of her heart…it cracked open now. It burst out of her chest and threatened to consume her.
Like fire and ice.
The town was too small, too dull, to have any ruckus in the dead of night. Nothing was alive at this time, not for miles. Kat didn’t have to walk for long, though, to find what she needed. After half an hour, she faced the door of her younger brother’s house again, with her weapon of choice in hand. A red container of gasoline, the handle held tightly in her fist. The spout positioned towards the welcome mat. She poured and poured; onto the door, all over the porch, on the windowsills, down the stairs. Once she thought it was enough, once the gas was down to it’s last drop, she lit a match and tossed the flames.
Katya only stood and watched for the shortest moment before driving away. The fire grew behind her, and she stared at it proudly through the rear view mirror. It was a deadly wave of pure hate, not just towards Jophiel. Although she always knew he was a devil who deserved it. It would reach her parents too. It would reach those who feared her and judged her. This was the goodbye she had planned for them all those years before. This was their punishment, a mass damnation. And then the screaming began. Screams that ripped lungs, that pierced souls. She did nothing. Katya drove through the street with the windows rolled down, hoping that she would smell the burning flesh in the air.
The once clear sky was now clouded with smoke.
And if her mind wasn’t already broken enough, she was tearing it to shreds now. It was madness. The product of an imploding entity, who had nothing but her own thoughts to keep her company. God help the human beings that would approach her, because she’d run them over without much care. She’d rip them down to blood and bone. To those who looked down on her. To those who thought lowly of her. To those who were disappointed with how she rejected her faith. To those who were so unapologetically uncomfortable around her. This was for them. This was for those who thought a child was actually a monster. Katya tried so hard her whole life to prove them wrong. Now she could. She wasn’t a monster, she was much worse than that. Katya was Hell personified, and if you could see what was reflected in her eyes, that is all there would be.