In total honesty, this section should be called part two and three, but I remember promising to someone that I wouldn’t make a bunch of sections for this story, so here is a slightly not as long parts two and three condensed into a single part. Enjoy 🙂
Aramis of the Seals
Rather than drug-crazed teenagers partying until they became purple, or a league of giants choking on a handful of skittles, Grall Silky found something that shocked him to his core, and made his blood run cold. On the edge of Lake Silky’s Den In The Spring, lay a small army of seals, sprawled and yapping incessantly.
“By the Lord of Gelastica’s Giant Gelasti-berries!” Silky gasped in disbelief, “I- I don’t believe this!”
Overcome with disbelief and terror at the sudden arrival of these seals, and what they would inevitably mean to his new sleeping schedule if they were to yap in this manner every morning, Silky tripped back to his hut, and shut the door. Suddenly it seemed as if he could not breathe, as if air could not enter his lungs. There was a peace and quiet shaped hole in his heart, and Silky wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to fill it again. If his beauty sleep was to be denied to him once more, then perhaps- perhaps there was a more permanent solution? Silky’s eyes shot to his window, and to a psychopomp taxi tree beyond it.
“No, no, no, don’t be ridiculous!” he gasped to himself, urging air back into his lungs, “I’ll be able to sleep again, there’s no need for that! Plus, there’s no guarantee I’ll have peace and quiet in the afterlife either. All can be solved, yes, I’m sure, all I need is… all I need is to get rid of that revolting racket! But how?”
Silky looked out the window, searching for a tree with a solution- but his mind drew a blank. He turned and yelped to himself, pulling anxiously at his hair, until he had the idea to attempt to reason with the yapping seals.
He marched back out from his hut to the shore of the lake and sound of the seals, but slowed his pace into a nervous stroll once the seals came into view. Then, he looked around, searching for a nice-looking seal, until he found one with a decent haircut and admirably proper attire, and decided to approach it.
“Uh… hello there! Mr. Seal?”
The seal eyed Grall suspiciously, giving him the up down, before hurriedly lolloping away with a face of disgust. Grall put his hand to his chest, slightly offended by the seal.
“Well!” Grall squeaked to himself, a tear forming in his eye, “that just isn’t quite nice.”
“Hullo sir! Please pardon my uncle, he is not used to engaging with commoners.” Grall jumped to find a slightly smaller, well-dressed seal behind him.
“Oh, hello there.. Seal… boy?”
“You can address me as Sealbert if you wish, sir.”
“Okayy… Alright then Sealbert. My name’s Grall Silky. But all my friends call me Silky.”
“Pleasure to meet you Mr. Silky.”
“Pleasure as well!” A smile spread across Silky’s face.
“So what did you wish to ask my uncle Mr. Silky? Perhaps I can be of assistance?”
“Your uncle? Oh yes, your uncle. Well, you see, I live a bit inland from here, and my sleep is very important to me- er- my profession, so I was hoping to see if perhaps your family could… well, quiet down a bit.”
“Oh… I see…” Sealbert stroked his whiskers for a moment. His face went from one of consideration to one of slight discomfort to one of severe foreboding.
“What, what’s happening, what happened?” Silky inquired worriedly.
“Well.. See Mr. Silky, perhaps you can talk to my great-great-great-great-grandmother, who is the head of the family, but I am exceptionally skeptical on your chances to even get her to look at you. She is only one relative away from royalty, and much MUCH less used to commoners than my uncle, or anybody else for that matter. You see Mr. Silky, my family has come to this lake for centuries, and usually no one has the courage to interfere with our affairs. I think that we might even the own the lake during the Spring, by royal decree.”
“Royal decree?! You’re all related to the King of Gelastica?”
“Gelastica? Oh no no, we’re all relative to Queen Sealtune Selkie. Of the lake.”
“Of the lake? This lake?”
“This lake Mr. Silky- hence the name, Selkie’s Den In The Spring, of course.”
Silky was quiet for a moment. ‘Selkie’s Den. Not Silky’s. You brute!’ he thought to himself.
“Well. I’m sorry Sealbert, but I just won’t have it! I came here for before you lot this year, and I am not loyal at all to this Queen Sealtune Selkie! This lake is a province of Gelastica, not… er… Sealtunica?”
“The Royal Republic of Selkies-”
“Not the Royal Republica of Selkies! So you can all flop your blubbery bottoms back to Sealtunica-”
“The Royal Republic of Selkies-”
“Yes, that! You can all take your blubbery bottoms back, or I’ll-”
A booming voice echoed behind Silky, interrupting his rant, and causing him to hunch over in fear-
“Or you’ll what?!”
Silky turned around to witness a truly ginormous seal, who looked like a combination of Silky’s great aunt and a seal, wearing one of those furry dead creatures noble-people wore on special occasions, a truly fancy hat, and lipstick with a beauty spot. She wore a sternly disapproving expression, burning into Silky’s.
“Well?” she insisted, with a note of anger in her voice.
“Well,” Silky muttered softly, suddenly very aware of his lips’ dryness, “See, I’m a little tired, and well, I was really hoping that maybe you could please maybe please just slightly turn down the volume just a little bit so I could go back to sleep.”
The seal woman’s gaze of disapproval worsened, and she remained quiet for a few moments.
“Hmm… I see, Mr. Silky, was it? Perhaps if you asked in a polite manner I would have helped you, but given your truly ostentatious display of ill-manners in the face of my grand-child, I see no reason to aid you! Now, if you don’t mind, we have family reunion to attend to.”
The great seal lady flopped away, as well as smaller seals surrounding Silky, to join their surrounding relatives, leaving Silky isolated in the great seal reunion.
After a moment, the emotions of defeat and embarrassment overwhelmed Silky, and he left for his hut once again, head hung. Once he reached his hut, he decided there was nothing he wished to do there, so he decided to walk through the jungle, but the seal’s yapping incessant throughout.
After a few minutes, Silky reached Crazius’ hut. As usual, Crazius sat in an ancient looking fancy wooden rocking chair, staring absentmindedly into the jungle, with an expression of disdain.
Silky walked right up to Crazius, and bent over so his face was directly in front of Crazius’, and waved his hand in front of him, with no response. Then, Silky sat on the floor beside Crazius.
‘It simply isn’t fair,’ he thought, ‘My sleep was deprived back in the city. I thought I had found my place here, but now it seems another royal bully is going to deny me rest. Or almost royal. I guess it is their lake after all.’
Silky sighed solemnly, to which Crazius turned slightly to notice him at his side.
“Well, well, well,” he began, to which Silky thought, ‘here we go again,’ but was surprised when he emitted something other than his usual mindless blubbering-
“I haven’t seen someone else ‘ere at the lake lake since… well… I don’t even remember when! What’s yer name, boy?”
“Uh- my name’s Grall Silky, sir.”
“Well, nice to meet you Grall Silky! What seems to be troublin’ you?”
“Well… it’s nothing.”
“Nothin’? I know sadness when I see it boy! Out with it!”
“Well, I moved here because I needed to sleep, but some royal-blooded family of seals are visiting the lake and they won’t let me sleep with their racket.”
“Ah, those selkies,” Crazius shook his head in disapproval, “Quite a noisy bunch. Well, have you tried asking ’em to shush up?”
“I did, but I may have offended their great-great-great-grandma or something.”
“Ah yes, Sealgelica is a one stubborn blubberun.”
They both sat quietly for a moment, before Crazius continued, “If I may, I’m ponderin’ that you could win ’em over if you try to befriend them to start! See, that’s what I did, back in the day. Even got married to one.”
“You married a seal?”
“Aye! But not just a seal- a selkie!”
“Soo, you married a seal?”
“Aye, and a lovely one too!”
“Alright. Well, you have a nice day then.”
“Ayee. You too Silky.”
Silky returned to his hut, dumbfounded. Recently, it seemed like the world had flipped around and he was the only who wasn’t flipped along for the ride. The King and his ridiculous Alarm Clock legislation back in the city, the army of seals randomly attacking his jungle paradise, and his only company beside the seal offenders was a crazy old man who had been married to a seal. He was completely dumbfounded as to what to do next, and this made a slight anger grow in his gut.
He stared out the window, looking from tree to tree for a solution, when he spotted two young seals flopping about, across the view of his window, hitting a beach ball around. One of them hit the ball too hard, and flew up into a tree, and became stuck. After a moment, out of nowhere, as if by magic, one of the two seals poofed, and transformed into a little boy. Silky shook his head in disbelief, but the seal truly had transformed, and began climbing up the tree, until he shook the ball from the tree. Then, he transformed back into a seal, and the two seals continued to play with the ball.
Silky found himself with his jaw agape, but quickly shut it and climbed back into bed.
The next day, the racket awoke him again. Sitting up in bed, he was bitter at first, but then he remembered the little seal boys. “They’re people just like me, or anybody back in the city. Just not quite the same. But then again, nobody is quite the same, right? I mean, remember Doris from high school? She had the head of a blow-fish. And Rembrandt from college- I could have sworn he was just a gang of pups in a trench-coat.”
Guilt flooded into Silky has he realized how rude he had been with the Selkies the previous day. After a bit of struggling, he decided to march out to apologize. After wading through the crowd of seals, he found Sealbert.
“Uh- excuse me- Sealbert?”
“Oh. Hello Mr. Silky. What’s going on?” Sealbert asked cautiously.
“Well, I wanted to apologize for being so rude to you yesterday-”
“Well that’s alright Mr. Silky-”
“No! It isn’t. I’m truly very sorry,” Silky’s voice cracked, and you could tell he was truly, very sorry.
“Well… I forgive you Mr. Silky. We truly are a noisy family, and snobbish too at times, but we can understand when others aren’t perfect too. But hey, why didn’t you just grab some earmuffs from the earmuff tree?”
“There’s an earmuff tree?! Son of a-”
And thus, a beautiful friendship was born.